Tag: Leadership

Too often, we forget that some stress in life is a good thing. When you feel the heightened arousal of stress, numerous scientific studies will tell you that it actually does wonderful things: It helps you focus, enhances your memory, gives your body an energy boost, and can even bolster your immune system. (If you’ve ever been stressed about giving a presentation, you can credit some of that stress for helping push you through what you need to do to prepare and get those first words out.)

However, in today’s fast-paced world, it’s simply a fact that far too many of us suffer from excessive or chronic stress. Left uncontrolled and unmanaged, stress reveals its ugly side: you’ll be less likely to control your emotions, it impacts your heart health, it leads to premature aging, and actually weakens your immune system, among other side effects. One of the most common causes of excessive stress? No surprise here: Work.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by too many Slack messages, an overbearing boss, crazy deadlines, or a combination of them all, Samantha Clarke, author and happiness expert, has some really good advice for you. In her class “Reduce Stress and Anxiety,” which you can find in our Optimism Library, Samantha offers three simple yet effective strategies to de-escalate stress, especially in the workplace. To explore her entire class, feel free to go here, but we’ve taken the liberty of providing just a few of her tips below.

Declutter Your Workspace

Let’s start with your immediate environment—your desk or workspace. Believe it or not, the state of your workspace can significantly impact your stress levels. As Samantha explains, “stress can be triggered even more when we find ourselves working in chaotic environments. Where there’s a lot of clutter and disorganization, our mindset often reflects it.”

A cluttered desk is not just an eyesore; it’s a visual representation of chaos that can hinder your ability to focus and process information efficiently, and science agrees. A study recently showcased in a Harvard Business Review article found that physical clutter in your surroundings competes for your attention, resulting in decreased performance and increased stress.

So, what’s the solution? Take a few minutes each day to tidy up your workspace. File away those papers, organize your supplies, and create a clean, serene environment that encourages focus and calm. The act of decluttering itself can be therapeutic, offering a sense of control and accomplishment amidst the chaos of work.

Practicing Meditation or Tai Chi

If you’re looking for a more introspective approach to stress management, meditation and tai chi are your go-to practices. Both are ancient traditions known for their calming and restorative benefits. 

“The practice of meditation or the slow, meditative movement of tai chi are really good starting places for us to think about how we practice being present with ourselves,” explains Samantha. “I’m not saying that you need to move into like a pretzel and do it for hours on end. But just a starting point of even just 5 minutes is great. Take that time to ask yourself ‘how do I come back home to myself and my mind? How do I lean back and take a moment to keep my mind in a place of stillness?’ Just take a moment to close your eyes and just be still when the stress reaction is there or the feeling of deep uncertainty comes up.” 

Ultimately, meditative actions help you develop mindfulness, allowing you to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment. This practice can decrease the body’s response to stress, reducing symptoms of anxiety and depression and make it easier to regulate yourself next time that stress starts to rear its unpleasant head.

Yes, Think Happy Thoughts

We know, it sounds like a terrible cliché, but sometimes the simplest methods are the most powerful. When stress levels start to rise, take a moment to close your eyes and think of a positive memory or the silver linings of your current challenge.

“In moments of stress and difficulty, take a moment and think, ‘what about this challenge could pose something positive?’ Or you can recall some happy memory at the moment of stress to reset your mind. Think about a happy memory or positive thought about the challenge that you’re in and hold that thought for at least 30 seconds. It starts to create more neural pathway recognition to override the negativity.”

This technique is not just about distraction; it’s about reminding ourselves of the joy and positivity that exist in our lives, even when they seem overshadowed by stress. It’s a tool that can be used anywhere, anytime, requiring nothing but a moment of your time and the power of your memory. 

A word to the wise, though. As Samantha explains, “when it comes to this particular method, practice actually does make perfect. We need to do this consistently and again through meditation over time when we get stressed. Through repeatedly taking that time to pause, we can start to rewire what’s really happening for us.”

Stress, especially in the workplace, can feel like an inevitable part of life. Whether it’s through decluttering your workspace, incorporating meditation or tai chi into your routine, or simply recalling a joyous moment from your past, each method offers a pathway to greater calm and reduced anxiety.

For more classes like “Reduce Stress and Anxiety”, check out The Optimism Library. Breathe out, dive in, and discover more ways to bring balance into your life.

Imagine a professional golfer standing over an eight-foot putt to win a big tournament. “Don’t choke,” she tells herself under her breath. “And do not pull the ball left of the hole.” 

Now, you probably don’t need to be a mental coach with an advanced degree in sports psychology to predict what happens next: Her putt sails wide left of the hole. 

The golfer has committed one of the most common psychological mistakes known to affect their performance: Negative framing. This phenomenon isn’t limited to professional athletes, of course; it affects all of us, whether we’re focusing on the negatives at work or in life. 

By fixating on what could go wrong, we inadvertently increase the likelihood of those negative outcomes becoming a reality. Negative framing can hinder our confidence, impair our decision-making, and ultimately sabotage our success. 

As Simon explains, “negative framing, such as ‘don’t forget your lines’ before a presentation, or even ‘don’t eat on the couch’ if you’re trying to kick that habit, tends to focus our attention on the very thing we wish to avoid. It’s this sort of thinking that holds us back, dashes our productivity, and makes it much harder to achieve our intended goal.”

So how do we reframe our mindset to be more goal-oriented and productive? The answer is surprisingly simple: focus on the positive and adjust your mindset with positive framing. 

How to Apply Positive Framing to Your Daily Life

In contrast to negative framing, positive framing directs our focus towards the desired outcome, increasing the likelihood of achieving it. So, let’s revisit Simon’s examples. Instead of saying, “Don’t forget your lines,” tell yourself to remember them. Instead of scolding yourself, “don’t eat on the couch,” say, “eat at the table.”

You can try this in almost any situation and it applies to groups, as well. For instance, if you’re a teacher who says, “Do not talk over Jane,” the class is unlikely to quiet down. However, if you say, “I want to hear what Jane is saying,” the students are more likely to lower their voices. 

Similarly, pilots are trained to focus on where they want to go rather than the obstacles they wish to avoid. Skiers navigating through trees concentrate on the path, not the trees themselves. This shift in focus from obstacles to pathways is a powerful metaphor. As Simon says, “If you focus on the obstacles, all you will see is obstacles. If you focus on the path through the trees, all you will see is the path through the trees.”

By consciously choosing how we frame our thoughts and instructions, we can significantly impact our ability to navigate challenges and pursue our goals. Whether we’re engaging in conversations with friends, guiding our children, or setting personal goals, shifting our focus from the “don’ts” to the “do’s” can make a significant difference. It’s about keeping our gaze on where we want to go, rather than fixating on the things we’re trying to avoid. 

So, as you take your next steps, remember that spotting the path through the trees could be your ticket to hitting your stride and unlocking your true potential.

For more advice from us, consider exploring The Optimism Library, which contains the best recordings of our online classes covering personal and professional growth.

Getting to the next rung on the career ladder is daunting at every stage. Like learning a language or shaving time off your mile, it can’t happen overnight. It’s something you need to work toward a little bit every day—adopting a mindset, and treating it like a new lifestyle.

Whether you’re looking to make a big leap (more responsibility, maybe a promotion) or a small one (just a pay bump), everyone could use a little help getting to the next level. That’s why we asked Simon Sinek, our founder and chief optimist here at The Optimism Company, for his best advice on getting ahead at work.

Read on to see Simon’s advice, which covers everything from comporting yourself as a leader to asking for a raise the right way. And for more career advice, check out The Optimism Library for more than 50 classes on all the things you need to know to get ahead in your professional growth.

Tip #1: Sharpen your human skills

Yes, you consistently blow past all of your quarterly goals and generate undeniable value for your bosses. But the person three desks over who regularly churns out average work just scored a promotion. What gives?

“Leadership sees something in them and wants to put them in a leadership position,” Simon explained. “So, if you’re thinking about your own career as well, yes, absolutely, you want to be good at those hard skills—the skills that are about being good at your job—but it’s the human skills, as well.”

You often see it in tech, finance, and other fields that loudly prioritize KPIs and root performance in quantifiable metrics. But when it comes to taking the next step, to proving you’re ready to oversee other people, your soft skills are just as important.

“Learning to listen or help others thrive around [you] may more likely lead to your promotion than simply hitting all the numbers,” Simon elaborated.

Tip #2: Don’t come in with an ultimatum

When people ask for a raise or promotion, many tend to make the same mistake, according to Simon: They bring up the topic as a simple yes-or-no question. This forces bosses into a position where they may have to impart bad news, and don’t have the room to elaborate on their decision. You’re better off framing it as a discussion.

According to Simon, here’s one way you can bring it up: “I really like working here. I want to stay here for a long time. I’m learning a lot and I want to continue learning. And I also feel like I’m taking on more work, or I’ve gone above and beyond, and I want to have a conversation with you about the opportunities that I could have that my compensation could reflect the additional work I’ve been doing.”

Following that, put some time on your boss’ calendar to discuss the prospect of increasing your salary; discussions about money are hard on both sides of the table, and giving your boss time to prepare shows that you’re patient (a key quality in natural leaders). If the answer is negative, see if your boss is willing to outline clearly demarcated goals for you to hit on a schedule that’d lead to a promotion or raise.

Tip #3: Practice the art of having difficult conversations

Occasionally, you’ll find yourself needing to speak up at work. Perhaps your ideas are consistently shot down, or you’re regularly belittled in group contexts. When it reaches a point where you want—no, need—to say something, don’t barge into your boss’ office and lob a barrage of criticisms. Check yourself, and go in with a measured plan.

Simon recommends the tried and true “FBI” method as a way to have an effective confrontation with your boss: “What is your Feeling? What Behavior are they doing that makes you feel that way? And what Impact does it have?”

The key, Simon explains, is to be “really, really specific.” Avoid generalities (ex. “You always undermine me” or “You’re always yelling at me”) and come to the table instead with dates, meeting minutes, and, yes, your anxieties about how the meeting made you feel. To really bring it home, throw in how you think such treatment could hurt broader team morale and productivity.

“What FBI is designed to do is allow the other person to hear you and take accountability,” said Simon. Better yet, it gives the impression that you know how to advocate yourself—and, by extension, how to advocate for others too. If that’s not leadership material, nothing is.

These days, it seems like everyone has a juicy horror story to share about a dreadful boss, a backstabbing colleague, or a workplace that feels straight out of a teen movie. However, the latest research suggests that toxic workplaces—those that pit employees against one another, foster negativity and bullying and harassment, and prioritize productivity at all costs—are shockingly common. According to a recent report by the American Psychological Association, a whopping one in five workers describe their workplaces as toxic.

Research has proven that the single most common cause of a toxic workplace is (no surprise here) the top of the ladder. If the boss is self-absorbed, overbearing, or unrealistic in his or her demands, the level below them tends to follow suit. Studies show that it produces a trickle-down effect that usually spreads like an insidious virus, resulting in an unsustainable culture with high levels of stress, turnover, and infighting.

But if you can’t change your leader, is there anything you can do to combat a toxic work environment? If you ask our founder and Chief Optimist, Simon Sinek, the answer is definitely yes.

Read on for some of the ways Simon suggests you can take matters into your own hands and fight back against a poor working environment. And if you’re interested in learning some smart ways to create a better culture, you’ll find popular classes such as “Build Trusting Teams” and “How to Build a Culture Where Everyone Matters” in our Optimism Library.

Tip #1: Rally to Your Colleagues’ Defense

If negative energy originates from the top and permeates downwards, it’s crucial not to perpetuate it. Break the cycle, take initiative, and fill the void in leadership within your company. Even if you don’t hold a managerial position, that doesn’t mean you can’t embody the qualities of an effective leader—or more specifically, the leader you wish you had.

According to Simon, “Leadership has nothing to do with rank.” He emphasizes that many individuals in high-level positions lack true leadership qualities. While they may possess authority, their subordinates are not inspired to follow them. Leadership can manifest at any level within an organization.

If you notice a coworker struggling with a task that you are well-versed in, don’t simply leave them to fend for themselves. Take the time to sit down with them and demonstrate how to tackle it. Your superiors may not offer this help, but by stepping up and providing support, you can reduce friction within your workplace. Consider it an added bonus that you’ll start a virtuous cycle in which your colleagues start to help one another. 

Tip #2: Ask Your Colleagues to Review Your Work

According to Simon, assistance should be a two-way street. “Remember, building trust is not just about offering help, but also about asking for help,” Simon says. “As a leader, you can also encourage those around you to lend a hand.”

Even if you don’t necessarily need assistance with a specific task, there are still ways to make your colleagues feel valued. After completing an assignment, ask a coworker to review your work. By doing so, you are expressing confidence in their abilities. You are demonstrating that you appreciate their skills and trust their judgment, treating them with the same level of respect you would expect for yourself.

“Allow them to feel empowered to assist others,” Simon explained. “Over time, you will establish a level of trust within your team, and they will see you as someone who supports them.”

Tip #3: Do the Little Things (Over and Over)

The most effective way to eliminate toxicity in your workplace is to lead by example. And just like any other skill, leadership requires practice to improve.

“Make it a habit to consider the well-being of others,” Simon advised. “It’s the small acts of kindness, where you prioritize the lives of those around you, sometimes even before your own, and are willing to invest time and energy to assist them.”

Finished the coffee? Take a moment to refill it. Hold the elevator for someone, even if it means being slightly late to a meeting.

“If you want to ride a bicycle, you have to practice to become good at it,” Simon explained. “Leadership follows the same principle.”