Tag: Leadership

Want to hear a scary statistic? According to one survey, a shocking 30% of employees feel invisible at work. That’s an entire third of the workforce that feels like they do not matter. And when people don’t feel seen, they stop giving their best. They protect themselves. Trust erodes.

Zach Mercurio, celebrated speaker and author with a Ph.D. in organizational leadership, has dedicated his career to understanding the power of purpose and belonging in the workplace. He’s a firm believer that the simplest actions can have the greatest impact on how people feel about their work and themselves. In his course, How to Be a Leader People Actually Trust (And Maybe Even Love), he shares a simple phrase every leader should use to remind their employees of their value…

“If it weren’t for you.”

These five words—“If it weren’t for you”—hold the key to recognizing the essential contributions of others. In his course, Zach tells the story of a leader at a large bank. It’s not grand gestures. It’s disciplined, human moments.

She started a weekly practice of reaching out to someone who had helped her get through the week. Each Friday, she sends a message saying, “If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have made it through the week,” and follows up with why that person made a difference. Specific, personal, timely. Not “good job.” More like, “If it weren’t for you staying late to fix the client file, we would’ve missed the deadline.”

Over time, this small gesture has transformed her professional relationships, creating a network of deep trust and mutual appreciation. That’s how a Circle of Safety forms: people feel safe to take risks because they know someone’s got their back.

“Think about the times in your life when someone said to you, ‘If it wasn’t for you, I would have never gotten this job,’ or ‘If it wasn’t for you, I would have never been able to get through this,’” Zach says. These moments do more than express gratitude. They highlight the unique value that someone brings into our lives. It’s about showing people that they are not just another cog in the machine; they are essential. Recognition is not transactional. It’s relational. It says, “You matter here.”

And here’s the kicker: great leaders don’t wait for reviews or awards to say it. They say it often, in front of others. Peer recognition multiplies the effect because the whole group rises to that standard. 

Great leaders understand that everyone has a role to play, and they make it a point to ensure that those around them feel needed. Zach encourages saying, “If it weren’t for you, this wouldn’t be possible,” or “If it weren’t for you, today wouldn’t have been as good.” This simple phrase can make the difference between someone feeling invisible and someone feeling seen, valued, and motivated. 

The impact of these words goes beyond professional settings. “Say it to your friends, your neighbors, your kids, spouse, partner, and the thousands of people you depend on daily in your community to live your life,” Zach says. Recognizing people’s contributions, no matter how small they may seem, is a universal way to build stronger connections. Skills we practice at work follow us home. When we learn to listen and acknowledge, marriages improve, friendships deepen, and families get stronger. 

In a world where 55% of people feel as though their company only sees them as employees and not people, the phrase “If it weren’t for you” can be a reminder that we all matter. It’s a tool that any leader—or any person—can use to create a culture of gratitude and connection. It’s simple, not easy. It requires presence. It requires noticing. And it pays compounding dividends in trust and performance.

Make it practical. This week, send out three notes: “If it weren’t for you…” followed by one concrete behavior and one impact. Do one public shout-out in a meeting. Keep it under 20 seconds and make it specific. Maybe start a Friday ritual: Ask your team, “Who do we want to thank today, and why?”

Because when your people feel valued, they’ll choose to give their best—again and again.

“Something small, said with sincerity, can change how someone shows up tomorrow,” says Simon. “Because leadership isn’t about being in charge; it’s about taking care of those in your charge—and ‘If it weren’t for you’ is what that care sounds like.”

For more on Zach’s course, see here. And if you’re a leader asking, “Where do I start?” You can start with someone who helped you this week. 

Tell them. Today.

When most people think about getting healthy, the focus is usually on themselves: living longer, feeling better, or avoiding illness. But what if the real reason to prioritize your health isn’t just for you—it’s for the people you care about?

“Illness starts with I, wellness starts with we,” bestselling author Mark Hyman, M.D., told Simon on this week’s edition of A Bit of Optimism. 

Think about it: when you’re run-down, sluggish, or just feeling lousy, it’s hard to be a great parent, friend, or partner. You can’t be fully present. And if you’re dealing with chronic health issues, those closest to you are affected, too.

Simon sums it up: “I choose to eat well, not for me, but so I can be a better friend, a better parent, a better partner.” 

“You’re Only As Healthy As Your Five Closest Friends”

Hyman shared research that underscores how interconnected our health really is. Studies show that when one person in a group makes a healthy change—like quitting smoking or eating better—their friends are more likely to follow. “You’re only as healthy as your five closest friends,” he said. 

But there’s a flip side, too. Hyman highlights that loneliness is as dangerous as smoking two packs of cigarettes a day. And it’s everywhere—making it harder for people to maintain good mental health.

Here’s the kicker: poor health and isolation feed into each other. If you’re not feeling your best, it’s harder to connect with others. And without those connections, your mental and physical health can suffer. It’s a vicious cycle, but one, Hyman says, we can break by treating wellness as a team sport.

Healthy Habits as Acts of Service

This mindset shift—from taking care of yourself for your sake to doing it as an act of service—can be powerful. When you eat better, exercise, or get enough sleep, you’re not just doing it to avoid diabetes or live longer (although those are nice perks). You’re doing it so you can be the parent who’s patient, the friend who listens, or the partner who’s truly present.

So, the next time you’re thinking about skipping that workout or grabbing junk food, ask yourself: how will this choice impact the people I care about? Because staying healthy isn’t just about living longer—it’s about showing up, fully and wholeheartedly, for the people who matter most.

For the full conversation between Dr. Hyman and Simon Sinek, check out A Bit of Optimism. It’s an inspiring reminder that our health choices echo far beyond ourselves.

We’d all prefer a friendlier internet—one that builds connections, fosters understanding, and makes us feel a little better about the world.

But (no shocker here) today’s hyper-connected world doesn’t always feel so rosy. In fact, it can sometimes feel downright toxic. Here’s the good news, though: According to some insights from organizational psychologist Adam Grant, most of the negativity we encounter on social media comes from a shockingly small percentage of users.

Read on to discover some reasons to stay optimistic about today’s social media landscape—along with a few ways we can all make a positive difference.

The Minority That Makes the Majority of Noise 

Here are two eye-opening statistics from study just published in the academic journal Current Opinion in Psychology:

•  Just 3% of active users on social media are considered toxic, yet they generate 33% of online content. 

• Only 1% of online communities are responsible for launching 74% of online conflicts, and a mere 0.1% of users spread 80% of the fake news. 

Startling, right? The negativity we encounter is often the work of a small but highly active group of users.

For the majority of people who log in to connect, learn, and be entertained, this vocal minority can create a disproportionate sense of discord. Because they generate so much content and incite so much interaction, it can feel as though their views and behaviors are the norm rather than the exception.

Why Are Negative Voices So Prominent? 

There are several reasons why the most toxic voices on social media tend to dominate the conversation:

1. Algorithm Bias

Social media platforms are designed to maximize engagement, and studies have shown that people are more likely to engage with posts that evoke strong emotions—particularly anger. As a result, algorithms often prioritize controversial or inflammatory content, making toxic voices more visible. This strategy has most recently started to be coined as “Rage-Bait”.

2. Human Bias Toward Negativity

Our brains are wired to pay more attention to negative information, a trait that likely evolved to help our ancestors survive. However, this negativity bias can backfire on social media, where we’re constantly bombarded with information. Negative posts stand out and are more likely to stick in our minds, leading us to feel that they represent the majority opinion.

3. Echo Chambers:

Toxic users tend to find each other and congregate in like-minded groups, creating echo chambers that amplify their views. Within these spaces, extreme opinions become more normalized and members are emboldened to spread their beliefs, often fueling conflict and misinformation on a larger scale.

How This Skews Our View of Humanity

When a small but loud group dominates the conversation, it can have a profound impact on how we view the world and each other. Constant exposure to negative content can lead us to believe that humanity is more divided, hostile, and selfish than it really is. This perception can affect our mental health, making us feel anxious, cynical, or even hopeless.

Research shows that social media can impact our self-esteem and our relationships, especially if we internalize the negativity we see online. When we start to believe that toxicity is the norm, it’s easy to feel disillusioned and disconnected, even though the majority of users are positive, supportive, and constructive.

What Can We Do About It? 

While we may not have control over social media algorithms, we can take steps to ensure that our own experience is healthier and more balanced. Here are some practical strategies:

1. Curate Your Feed:

Be intentional about who you follow. Seek out accounts that focus on content that inspires you, educates you, and makes you feel good. Following creators who align with your values can help you create a more positive outlook on life as well as your feed.

2. Engage Wisely:

Remember how we mentioned the term “Rage-Bait”? Well it’s just that– bait. And we suggest you don’t take it. Avoid engaging with toxic content or users. Even negative interactions, such as arguing in comments, can inadvertently boost their reach. Choose to support and engage with positive content instead.

3. Report and Mute:

Most platforms offer tools to report or mute users who spread negativity or misinformation. Use these tools to filter out toxic content and create a safer digital environment for yourself.

4. Be Mindful of Your Own Impact:

Each of us has the power to contribute to a more positive social media space. By sharing authentic, thoughtful, and supportive content, we can help counterbalance the negativity and show that there is more to humanity than what the vocal minority might portray.

Stepping into a new leadership role? Congrats! 

It can be both an exhilarating and overwhelming experience. It’s the moment when you’re expected to inspire, guide, and make decisions that impact those around you. While that responsibility is exciting, it’s also daunting, especially when you’re navigating uncharted waters and hearing statistics like the one out of the Center for Creative Leadership that states that around 40% of new leaders fail within their first 18 months. So we figured we could offer some pointers to help you thrive. 

We asked Kristen Hadeed, Optimist Instructor and founder and CEO of Student Maid, to share some invaluable pieces of advice she wishes she had known as a new leader. As someone who learned firsthand that those early leadership years are full of crucial lessons, she was thrilled to dip into her wealth of experience and give her top three tips for any incoming leader.

1. Listening Is More Than Just Hearing

Kristen candidly admits that in her early days of leadership, she wasn’t a great listener. She was often distracted, multitasking, and more focused on responding than understanding. “I was the leader that when you walked in, my fingers are doing this,” she says, mimicking typing, “and I’m like, yeah, come on in, I’m listening. Well, if your fingers are doing this, you are not really listening.”

Leadership is about truly listening—not just to words, but to what’s left unsaid, too. One powerful phrase that transformed her approach is, “Tell me more.” It opens doors for deeper connections and understanding. Whether it’s in feedback, discussions, or casual conversations, she urges leaders to be curious and fully present. It’s through this kind of intentional listening that you can build trust and foster a culture where people feel valued.

2. Disagree and Still Support

As a leader, you might believe that achieving consensus was key to success. Sure, you should strive to ensure everyone agrees before moving forward, but the fact is that seeking total agreement wasn’t leadership—it was stagnation. “If everyone is always agreeing with you, someone does not feel safe being honest,” she notes.

A healthy leadership culture allows room for disagreement. Kristen encourages leaders to make their beliefs clear, take risks, and embrace different perspectives. Even when team members disagree, they should still feel supported. 

“I get it. I respect it. I understand why you feel that way. I need to ask for your support,” she says. Adopting language like this into your leadership style is a way to acknowledge differing views while maintaining unity. Remember, leadership isn’t about unanimous agreement; it’s about fostering growth through respectful disagreements.

3. Embrace the Growth Mindset

One of the biggest hurdles for new leaders is the fear of failure. 

Kristen admits, “ I heard a lot about the “growth mindset” early on, but struggled to grasp its true meaning. Over time, I realized that a growth mindset is about leveraging your past experiences—call it your “resilience resume”—to face new challenges with confidence.”

So when you are facing your next difficult obstacle, think about everything that’s on your resilience resume and remember that this moment, this obstacle, too, will be on there one day. Leadership is hard, but that’s where the growth happens. Failure is not only inevitable, it’s a learning tool.

Leadership is a journey, not a destination. Kristen’s advice to new leaders is simple yet profound: if it’s not hard, you’re probably not doing it right. Embrace the challenges, learn from every experience, and remember—you’ve got this. Leadership is supposed to be hard, but it’s also one of the most rewarding journeys you’ll ever take.

For more, check out The Optimism Library.